Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think

by Dan Joseph

There is a method of inner healing that’s very common in the field of cognitive therapy. I find it to be a powerful technique, and one that’s consistent with many spiritual paths.

In this article, I’d like to present a slightly modified version of this method, and illustrate how it can be used in daily life. I call it ‘The Matrix.’

In this practice, you create a set of columns and rows on a piece of paper - a matrix. I’ve outlined the format below. Then you use this matrix to reorient your thoughts and feelings.

Here is the format:

Let me fill that in with an example. A few seconds ago, I knocked a cup of coffee onto my computer. For me, that counts as a distressing situation. Therefore, it’s a good experience to plug into the matrix. Here is how I began to fill in the boxes:

In the first column, I simply described the situation. In the second column, I made a list of some of my feelings: in this case, frustration (with myself), guilt (about my mistake), and nervousness (about the repercussions of the situation).

I find it helpful to make this feeling-list. By naming our specific feelings, we bring them up into awareness. We take ourselves out of denial. We reduce the tendency to ’squash things down.’

However, in this practice, we don’t stop there. We use our feelings to move on to the underlying thoughts.

As I mentioned in my book Inner Healing, the relationship between feelings and thoughts is like the relationship between smoke and fire. Distressing feelings are the smoke. Distressing thoughts are the fires that give rise to the smoke. In this case, where there’s smoke, there is fire - where there are distressing feelings, there are distressing thoughts underneath.

In column three, we uncover the thoughts which are fueling the feelings. Here is what I came up with:

As you can see, I uncovered three sets of self-attacking thoughts in column three. I probably could have come up with many more - but these were a good start. Writing them out in the matrix was extremely helpful. To be honest, I wasn’t even aware of these thoughts until I wrote them out.

As I filled in this third column, the key was to realize that my feelings (in column two) were coming from my thoughts (in column three), not simply from the situation. You could say that the situation was a ‘trigger’ for the thoughts. I’m certainly not glad that I spilled coffee on my computer. But it was the thoughts that I needed to work on now.

Let me now move on to column four - the heart of this exercise. In the final column of the matrix, you substitute self-forgiving thoughts for each of the self-attacking thoughts in column three. This is the big step. This turns the mind from self-criticism to self-forgiveness; from distress to peace.

As you do this, you can focus on simply moving in the right direction. You don’t have to take a huge leap into complete forgiveness; you can take a series of little steps. Every bit of progress is helpful.

Here is what I came up with, as I made this substitution:

Those self-forgiving thoughts may not have been the ‘highest’ thoughts in the world, but they helped me to shift my mind toward a more self-forgiving space. As I did that, the feelings of frustration, guilt, and nervousness were replaced to some degree - by a greater sense of peace and self-acceptance. That is the goal of this practice.

find that this ‘cognitive restructuring’ work - replacing self-attacking thoughts with self-forgiving thoughts - is like priming a pump. We locate our self-attacking thoughts, and replace them with self-forgiving thoughts. We do this mechanical work over and over until the flow of loving, forgiving thoughts begins to run on its own. There is some work to do at the beginning. But we’re simply preparing our minds to receive the divine flow.

Dan Joseph is the author of Inner Healing and Inspired by Miracles, two books inspired by A Course in Miracles. Dan invites you to sign up for his free monthly newsletter at http://www.DanJoseph.com.

Health and Wellness

by: Wendy Betterini

Living a healthy lifestyle will not only make us feel better physically and mentally, but it can also greatly improve our productivity at home and work as well. Many people think they lack the time (or money) that it takes to lead a healthy lifestyle, but the fact is that it is far easier than one might think. Making small, simple changes that lead to a healthy lifestyle is as easy as taking a look at what we put in our bodies and how we treat ourselves on a day-to-day basis.

Eating properly is essential to providing our bodies with the proper fuel that is needed to get us through each day. Fueling our bodies with excess sugars and highly-processed foods increases the production of insulin in our systems, which eventually affects the sugar in our blood. This up and down in our blood sugar levels drain our energy and keep us from focusing on the tasks at hand.

Eating whole grains and complete proteins will level out the blood sugar and will also help decrease food cravings throughout the day. Our bodies are much better able to use the fuel supplied when the sources include lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. The result is sustained energy and proper nutrition. Highly-processed foods do not provide the vitamins and minerals our bodies need, and may actually harm us with additives such as Trans fats and preservatives.

Even if we practice proper eating habits, we may not always get the nutrition we need. If our diets are lacking nutrition due to a hectic lifestyle, supplementing with vitamins, minerals, and/or herbs can help. Deficiencies in many vitamins and minerals can cause problems with digestion, eyesight, and even sleeping patterns. Keeping the proper level of nutrients in our blood gives our bodies the added fuel when our diets fail to provide it. A good multi-vitamin will include most of what is needed, but choose a chewable brand for maximum absorption.

Another important factor in healthy living is staying hydrated. Providing hydration for our bodies is crucial to keeping our systems working optimally. Our bodies are composed mostly of water, and require about two liters of water per day, not only to maintain the proper water level, but to also flush out the impurities that are created through the body’s daily processes. Proper hydration is necessary in sustaining our energy, and also aids in properly burning the fuel we have taken in by way of food.

To burn the extra fuel we taken in, we must exercise and burn calories. Without exercise, our bodies will only burn so many calories daily. Any excess fuel will turn into those ugly fat deposits so many of us wish we didn’t have. It is now suggested that to lead a healthy lifestyle, one must incorporate a half hour of exercise each day. This can be fulfilled by simply taking a pleasurable one-mile walk during lunch or after work. Speed and distance aren’t usually as important as keeping your body active on a daily basis. This alone should give you the pep and vitality needed to be more productive at home or work.

Finally, we should always listen to what our bodies are telling us when we are sick or feel “out of sorts.” This is the body’s way of telling us to recognize that we aren’t leading as healthy a lifestyle as we should. If we make some of the simple changes mentioned above, we will go a long way putting our mind and bodies back in shape.

Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer and web designer in New England. She is the owner of http://www.WorkatHomeBalance.com, which features work/life balance tips for entrepreneurs, home business owners, telecommuters and freelancers. Visit today for more tips on balancing work and family under one roof.

Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century

by Carol Tuttle

Happiness is a choice. The more happiness you choose, the more life presents you with experiences to feel happy about. If you are feeling blue or even downright depressed, you must make the decision to “get happy.”

The following tips can help you; however, if you are seriously depressed, get some professional help. There are many new cutting-edge energy therapies that clear away negative emotions and negative thinking.

Find a professional who is more interested in giving you tools and guidance in generating more happiness than in trying to figure out why you feel the way you do. It is not necessary to find out why we feel sad or depressed to clear these feelings.

The bottom line is, if we give a lot of attention to what we don’t want, we create more of it. To learn more about energy therapies that are designed to work with the mind/body energy system, including thoughts and feelings, go to:
www.caroltuttle.com.

1. Choose to be happy rather than right.
2. Repeat aloud: “It doesn’t matter.”
3. Pay it forward. For every kind deed offered to you, do a kind deed for someone else.
4. Write thank-you notes frequently. The energy of gratitude feeds happiness.
5. Smile-even if you don’t feel like it. You eventually will!
6. “Tap-out” your sad feelings. Using your fingertips, tap all over the top of your head while repeating: “I am free of this sadness. I am now feeling happy.” Tapping on the nerve endings on the top of your head will start to lift this heavy, sad energy.
7. When you think a complimentary thought about someone-tell them.
8. Refrain from making judgments-think something positive instead.
9. Whistle.
10. Skip around your house.
11. Turn on your favorite upbeat song and sing along.
12. Ask your angels to flow to you the energy of happiness.
13. Patch your right eye if you are thinking negative thoughts. When you put an eye patch on your right eye, you quiet the left brain and its negative chatter.
14. Hug someone-tightly.
15. Ask your children to tuck you in bed and read you a story for a change.
16. Stay in the present. Let the future be just that: the future.
17. Hold a newborn baby and welcome them into the world.
18. Give some service to someone who is more needy than you.
19. Exercise regularly.
20. Pray and meditate.

And, just because I like to give a little extra, because it makes me happy,

21. Love yourself and make the choice to “BE HAPPY.”

*Carol Tuttle is a Master Energy Therapist and the author of the best-selling Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century. She is a popular speaker and seminar leader with a series of best-selling CD’s on her seminars. Go to http://www.caroltuttle.com