by Barbara Becker Holstein

Thank you for staying with me. Let us continue to explore our basic needs and find ways to bring a sense of wholeness and enchantment into our lives. We will end with an exercise for you to practice.

Enchantment involves more than merely meeting one’s basic needs, it also involves valuing one’s basic needs. Yet it cannot be activated and maintained without certain negotiating skills. It also involves valuing one’s own Positive Fingerprints and Shadow Prints of the mind. Positive Fingerprints are actual memories were we have intentionally gone by and gleaned positive feelings and/or knowledge. Shadow Prints are more vague, but also contain within them are positive feelings and impressions from the past.

Without these unique memories and impressions that create a pathway to building a positive self-narrative, these positive building blocks of our uniqueness are lost to others and, more sadly, to ourselves.

We need our Positive Fingerprints and Shadow Prints of the mind so that our present and future will be able to reflect our talents, interests and potential. For if I deny the beauty and specialness of my own uniqueness, I am again locked out of the real experience of enchantment.

Personal enchantment is not a group activity. It remains a private exercise … leading to a sense of integrity and wholeness. Only the person herself knows if she is in a state of enchantment or disenchantment. Here is an activity to get you started, geared to emphasizing positive self-regard.

Exercise: A Play Date with Your Own Enchantment!

1. Please write down five positive comments about yourself. For example, “You are a most courteous and helpful person.” “You are always there for me.” “I can always trust you.” You can make these statements in the first person or the third person, whichever is one comfortable for you. For example, you could state, “I’m a courageous person who tries to help others out, even at great cost to myself.” Or you could say, “You are a most courageous person who is willing to help others out, even at great cost to yourself.”

The Enchantment of Modern Life: Attachments, Crossings, and Ethics

After you have made your list of five positive remarks you’d like to hear about yourself, put this piece of paper in your wallet or pocketbook. Read it to yourself at least once a day for one week. You may think of other positive statements you’d like to add, or you may get tired of certain ones and delete them. That’s fine. Just keep the number around five.

2. After a week, answer the following questions:

(a) How did you feel reading these remarks?
(b) Were there remarks you wished you could have made but honestly felt you didn’t deserve? If so, what do you think are some of the things you might need to work on before you can legitimately make a particular statement? Jot down some of those things. Try to be objective. Is your list realistic? Too perfectionistic? If it is perfectionistic, try to make it more realistic.

Remember that incorporating positive self-regard requires practice and repetition just as incorporating negative self-statements required repetition. If you find this exercise uncomfortable at this time, return to it later.

*This article–with minor changes throughout–came from my book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy. The body of the article can be found on pages 184-l85 and the exercise on page 104.

Dr. Holstein speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey. Her inspiring audio files can be found on the web at http://www.Ladybuglive.com. She also gives lectures, seminars, and retreats on the concepts of enchantment and is currently in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein. You may find more about Dr. Holstein and her work at: http://www.enchantedself.com

The Enchantment of Modern Life: Attachments, Crossings, and Ethics

by Barbara Becker Holstein

Thank you for joining me for this two-part article. In this segment we will learn how practicing positive self regard enhances our every day lives.

Time continues to increase my conviction that the old adage “Practice, practice, practice” is as necessary to experiencing a state of enchantment as anything else. Unfortunately, I am convinced, in general, we work much harder than we realize to stay in state of disenchantment rather than to let ourselves enjoy moments of enchantment.

We seem to practice staying in bad mood and seeing our faults and weaknesses rather than our strengths. Do we really feel that worry will help a situation, rather than patiently figuring out appropriate, more positive action? The ultimate solution is often simple, though the road to a permanent state of well-being requires practice and continual awareness and work.

The truth is: most of us get in the way of our good mental health. We may experience a lonely or sad emptiness inside, suffer a sense of disconnection from ourselves, or have repetitive occurrences of bad moods or self-generating negative messages.

We constantly interrupt our potential for achieving positive states by permitting fears or the counting of our woes to take away potentially precious moments. Many of us lack a sense of comfort about being with ourselves in our own mental space, and within our own body. We forget how to recognize and emphasize our blessings.

My clients remind me every day of how we can get in our own way. I remind myself too, as I strive to maintain the wonderful sense of oneness with myself and the world that I call THE ENCHANTED SELF.

This “oneness,” if examined, is a reflection of and a daring to use in new ways suitable for the present moment, our own unique talents, interests, potentials and individual life experiences.

More and more I realize that maintaining enchantment is not a trivial activity. It involves more than positive self-regard, yet it has no psychic power without the foundation of positive self-regard.

Please stay with me. Next time we will continue to explore our basic needs and find ways to bring a sense of wholeness and enchantment into our lives.

*This article–with minor changes throughout–came from my book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy. The body of the article can be found on pages 184-l85 and the exercise on page 104.

Dr. Holstein speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey. Her inspiring audio files can be found on the web at http://www.Ladybuglive.com. She also gives lectures, seminars, and retreats on the concepts of enchantment and is currently in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein. You may find more about Dr. Holstein and her work at: http://www.enchantedself.com

The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book

by Susan Dunn

Someone emailed me recently, “Do you think it’s possible to have
too much emotional intelligence going on? To the point that perhaps logic takes a backseat?”

Good question. The fact is, we need both IQ and EQ. You can’t have “too much” emotional intelligence, but that doesn’t mean at
the expense of logic.

It’s time to use logic, for instance, when figuring out a budget,
or making a timeline for a project. Then there’s a time to use
emotional intelligence - using leadership skills, for instance, to
get those people to make that timeline and project happen.

Emotional intelligence means using all your faculties, including logic and reason, to bring about results that are favorable. It means having the flexibility and creativity to see alternatives.

Say you’re presented with a highly-charged emotional situation, for
instance. You’re furious with your partner and would like to hit him. Your EQ would tell you to manage that emotion, to stop and
think. Your “thinking brain” would then consider the possible
consequences of your act — seriously hurting him, going to jail,
harming the relationship irreparably, feeling shame and guilt
afterwards, and other things that are not in your best interest. At the same time, you could use your empathy to try and see things from their point of view.

There are times when logic does need to take a back seat, for
instance when we need to use our hearts in managing a misbehaving
toddler. Logic and reason aren’t of much use with a two year old.
They also aren’t of much use in figuring out the big questions in
life, like why bad things happen to good people.

Emotional intelligence means managing emotions so you can take action in the best interest of all concerned. This also requires using your thinking brain!

To learn more about emotional intelligence, go to The EQ Coach.

by: David Taylor

The spiritual evolution of the this planet and its inhabitants is currently in a rapid state of change, a new era is being born, and we are no longer content to be believers, as sheep in a “flock”. People are waking up to the knowledge that we can be masters of our own destiny, and are looking to the ancient cultures who have survived to show us the way forward.

How can we break free from our definitions, when we are bound by systems, and rules and regulations, and “normal procedures” . What escape routes are there when all we know is all we have been taught. What is there outside the world we know, and how can we find it and finally be free.

Ancient knowledge and practices from Shamanism, Wicca, Vodou, Druidism and many others are being used and adapted to our modern lives to re-connect us to the worlds of spirit. We are re-discovering that everything in our universe has energy, consciousness, vibration and a power of its own, something the ancients have always known.

By lovingly connecting ourselves to this universal energy, we can know that everything within it has its own spirit, and is connected to everything else. Deep personal transformations can occur as we align ourselves to the loving universal consciousness, giving us back the power to create our own personal spirituality, and to KNOW spirit to the very core of our being.

The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind: Access to a Life of Miracles

“I don’t believe, I know.” Carl Jung.

“You are not my enemies, you are my brothers and sisters. You did not do anything to me or my people. All that happened a long time ago in the lives of our ancestors. And, at that time I might actually have been on the other side. We are all children of the Great Spirit, we all belong to Mother Earth. Our Planet is in great trouble and if we keep carrying old grudges and do not work together, we will all die.” Chief Seattle.

“There is no one who can take our place. Each of us weaves a strand in the web of creation. There is no one who can weave that strand for us. What we have to contribute is both unique and irreplaceable. What we withhold from life is lost to life. The entire world depends upon individual choices.” Duane Elgin.

The Abraxas Foundation of Lightwork and Spiritual Knowledge was created in 2005 by David Taylor to raise Spiritual awareness through the exploration and use of Ancient and Modern Spiritual practices. www.Abraxas3654.co.uk

by: Georgia Hinton

The ancient Spiral symbol, a swirl of a coiled circle pattern, has it’s roots in a time before the written word in Celtic society.

In many of the Celtic countries (and some not so Celtic) are found these strange signs of ancient civilization. Found most often in burial mounds and sacred caves, the meaning of the symbol is mainly conjecture.

Some have likened it to the sun, as a ritual or religious symbol in a time when the ancients were still practicing paganism. During that time it was believed that all things in nature were ruled by, or were in themselves, gods - the trees, the earth, each wind (North, South, East or West) had a god who goverened it. Many believe the Spiral is the symbol for life and the life cycle. In early times the true meaning was passed down from generation to generation, and facts (the true meanings) began to fuse with legend. It has been said that the Spiral is the interpretation by the people of the time, to be the universe, it’s spinning cycles and seasons. Many believe these Spirals to hold mystical meanings and powers and that the Spiral was a blessing or a “seal” for the one who has passed, to prevent evil from entering a sacred place - such as a tomb.

101 Celtic Spirals (101 Celtic)

The people who made up the Celtic tribes were nomadic, so many artifacts including the Spiral have been found in far reaching areas, not usually associated with the Celts.

The fluid, serene lines of the Spiral can be viewed as a gentle whirlwind pattern, or a dizzying symbol of madness and confusion. It is said, that even today, one could enter a cave with Spiral decorated walls, and if left in solitude for any length of time, will begin to go into a dream state or halucinate, and if prone to them, have epilectic seizures.

In any case, the mystery of the Spirals continues to be just that, a mystery, and although some have come to think that it has all been explained, there still are no solid conclusions and a mystery it remains.

The Celtic spiral is available in jewelry. As an amulet or just to declare your heritage, you may find them here: http://www.liafail.net

by Jeanine Byers

A relaxing treatment for children before bedtime is a warm essential-oil bath. Most children love taking aromatherapy baths, particularly if they have their own personal blends.–Health World Online

Aromatherapy is the use of plant oils to enhance well-being. Although one must be cautious about using essential oils with children, there are several that are safe to use, and they can be great at helping children settle down to go to sleep.

For babies, there are a couple of ways to use essential oils. One way is by giving your baby an all-over massage, and the other is by scenting the room. To scent the room, instead of using a diffuser, put the oil in a bowl of hot water, which allows for a more gentle approach.

If you would prefer to give your baby a massage, here are a few suggestions to get the most out of this bonding time.

1)Wait at least 30 minutes after the baby’s meal.
2)Make sure that the room you use is warm and that your hands are warm.
3)Don’t push hard, but instead, use gentle, light, stroking motions.

For more massage tips, download the article on aromatherapy and massage, by Aroma Health Tips, a UK company.

Your toddler may benefit from having an aromatic massage right before storytime. This will give the essential oils plenty of time to soothe and relax and comfort as your toddler settles in for a story.

Older children may prefer room fragrancing or an aromatherapy bath.

Teenagers may want to use the oils to massage themselves. Best areas would be the neck and shoulders, temples and forehead.

The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy

Here are several essential oils that both children and parents find relaxing and soothing.

Lavender: generates peace, eases tension, calms stress, opens the heart, feels gentle and nourishing and soothing, creates relaxation. Great for insomnia.

Mandarin Orange: encourages calm, creates tranquility, is soothing, uplifting and inspiring, promotes gentleness of spirit. Helpful for insomnia.

Marjoram: encourages balance, creates feelings of security, heightens intuition, keeps the heart open, grounds energy, releases fear–and the vulnerability that comes from fear of being hurt, allows more joy.

TAKE FIVE is a relaxing aromatherapy blend that contains lavender, mandarin orange and marjoram essential oils. Parents often use it to help their children sleep peacefully, but they find it brings them peace of mind, as well.

“We took it (Take Five) with us on a trip, and used the spray bottle in our hotel room when we got there. Sometimes our kids have a harder time getting to sleep the first night because it’s a strange environment. Well, this time, they went right to sleep! So my husband and I sat down for a few minutes to read and talk, and the next thing we knew, we were waking up an hour later! I love that oil and I use it every night in my children’s rooms to make for a quicker, quieter ritual.”

–Michele

“I bought an extra wax melter just so I could have the Take Five already burning in our bedroom when we go up for the night.”

–Cheri, Michele’s sister

Jeanine Byers is a licensed self-care coach and a holistic aromatherapy practitioner. She introduces Take Five in the hopes that it will help the tired, cranky, sleep-deprived moms, the fussy, colicky babies, the overtired young children and the angst-ridden teen ALL get a good night’s sleep! http://www.takefive.ws