Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think

by Dan Joseph

There is a method of inner healing that’s very common in the field of cognitive therapy. I find it to be a powerful technique, and one that’s consistent with many spiritual paths.

In this article, I’d like to present a slightly modified version of this method, and illustrate how it can be used in daily life. I call it ‘The Matrix.’

In this practice, you create a set of columns and rows on a piece of paper - a matrix. I’ve outlined the format below. Then you use this matrix to reorient your thoughts and feelings.

Here is the format:

Let me fill that in with an example. A few seconds ago, I knocked a cup of coffee onto my computer. For me, that counts as a distressing situation. Therefore, it’s a good experience to plug into the matrix. Here is how I began to fill in the boxes:

In the first column, I simply described the situation. In the second column, I made a list of some of my feelings: in this case, frustration (with myself), guilt (about my mistake), and nervousness (about the repercussions of the situation).

I find it helpful to make this feeling-list. By naming our specific feelings, we bring them up into awareness. We take ourselves out of denial. We reduce the tendency to ’squash things down.’

However, in this practice, we don’t stop there. We use our feelings to move on to the underlying thoughts.

As I mentioned in my book Inner Healing, the relationship between feelings and thoughts is like the relationship between smoke and fire. Distressing feelings are the smoke. Distressing thoughts are the fires that give rise to the smoke. In this case, where there’s smoke, there is fire - where there are distressing feelings, there are distressing thoughts underneath.

In column three, we uncover the thoughts which are fueling the feelings. Here is what I came up with:

As you can see, I uncovered three sets of self-attacking thoughts in column three. I probably could have come up with many more - but these were a good start. Writing them out in the matrix was extremely helpful. To be honest, I wasn’t even aware of these thoughts until I wrote them out.

As I filled in this third column, the key was to realize that my feelings (in column two) were coming from my thoughts (in column three), not simply from the situation. You could say that the situation was a ‘trigger’ for the thoughts. I’m certainly not glad that I spilled coffee on my computer. But it was the thoughts that I needed to work on now.

Let me now move on to column four - the heart of this exercise. In the final column of the matrix, you substitute self-forgiving thoughts for each of the self-attacking thoughts in column three. This is the big step. This turns the mind from self-criticism to self-forgiveness; from distress to peace.

As you do this, you can focus on simply moving in the right direction. You don’t have to take a huge leap into complete forgiveness; you can take a series of little steps. Every bit of progress is helpful.

Here is what I came up with, as I made this substitution:

Those self-forgiving thoughts may not have been the ‘highest’ thoughts in the world, but they helped me to shift my mind toward a more self-forgiving space. As I did that, the feelings of frustration, guilt, and nervousness were replaced to some degree - by a greater sense of peace and self-acceptance. That is the goal of this practice.

find that this ‘cognitive restructuring’ work - replacing self-attacking thoughts with self-forgiving thoughts - is like priming a pump. We locate our self-attacking thoughts, and replace them with self-forgiving thoughts. We do this mechanical work over and over until the flow of loving, forgiving thoughts begins to run on its own. There is some work to do at the beginning. But we’re simply preparing our minds to receive the divine flow.

Dan Joseph is the author of Inner Healing and Inspired by Miracles, two books inspired by A Course in Miracles. Dan invites you to sign up for his free monthly newsletter at http://www.DanJoseph.com.

Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century

by Carol Tuttle

Happiness is a choice. The more happiness you choose, the more life presents you with experiences to feel happy about. If you are feeling blue or even downright depressed, you must make the decision to “get happy.”

The following tips can help you; however, if you are seriously depressed, get some professional help. There are many new cutting-edge energy therapies that clear away negative emotions and negative thinking.

Find a professional who is more interested in giving you tools and guidance in generating more happiness than in trying to figure out why you feel the way you do. It is not necessary to find out why we feel sad or depressed to clear these feelings.

The bottom line is, if we give a lot of attention to what we don’t want, we create more of it. To learn more about energy therapies that are designed to work with the mind/body energy system, including thoughts and feelings, go to:
www.caroltuttle.com.

1. Choose to be happy rather than right.
2. Repeat aloud: “It doesn’t matter.”
3. Pay it forward. For every kind deed offered to you, do a kind deed for someone else.
4. Write thank-you notes frequently. The energy of gratitude feeds happiness.
5. Smile-even if you don’t feel like it. You eventually will!
6. “Tap-out” your sad feelings. Using your fingertips, tap all over the top of your head while repeating: “I am free of this sadness. I am now feeling happy.” Tapping on the nerve endings on the top of your head will start to lift this heavy, sad energy.
7. When you think a complimentary thought about someone-tell them.
8. Refrain from making judgments-think something positive instead.
9. Whistle.
10. Skip around your house.
11. Turn on your favorite upbeat song and sing along.
12. Ask your angels to flow to you the energy of happiness.
13. Patch your right eye if you are thinking negative thoughts. When you put an eye patch on your right eye, you quiet the left brain and its negative chatter.
14. Hug someone-tightly.
15. Ask your children to tuck you in bed and read you a story for a change.
16. Stay in the present. Let the future be just that: the future.
17. Hold a newborn baby and welcome them into the world.
18. Give some service to someone who is more needy than you.
19. Exercise regularly.
20. Pray and meditate.

And, just because I like to give a little extra, because it makes me happy,

21. Love yourself and make the choice to “BE HAPPY.”

*Carol Tuttle is a Master Energy Therapist and the author of the best-selling Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century. She is a popular speaker and seminar leader with a series of best-selling CD’s on her seminars. Go to http://www.caroltuttle.com

I Never Knew I Had A Choice: Explorations in Personal Growth (with InfoTrac)

by: Dave Czach

Today’s society and your private world are the results of free will. We have arrived here today through intention, ignorance or abuse. Some people understand and use free will daily. Some people completely deny it. And other people simply mock it and complain it “doesn’t work.”

Free will gives you the power of choice. You always have a choice. You can choose the same behavior or path you usually select. Or you can create a new result. For example, if someone calls you a “loser,” do you have a knee-jerk reaction of anger? If so, your behavior was on auto-pilot allowing a pre-programmed, subconscious trigger to surface. Completely bypassing your consciousness.

Next time, practice conscious thinking and use your free will to choose your interpretation of the event and your subsequent action. Take a second to take a deep breath to help raise your consciousness. Then decide if the “loser” statement is valid or not. If invalid, let it roll off your back. Remembering that most negative opinions are simply people’s expressions of something they don’t like about themselves. If the “loser” statement holds some truth - or is dead-on accurate - control your emotions. Don’t become angry. Allow the trigger to surface. And release the trigger.

The rise of negative triggers is a blessing in disguise. By using your free will and taking a second to raise your consciousness, you can identify a mental or emotional block. By asking the right questions within, you will be able to release the emotions of the trigger and experience growth in your personal and/or spiritual journey.

In the end, the quality of your life depends on daily usage of your free will to raise your consciousness and positively control your life. In doing so, you can shine brightly as intended.

About The Author
Dave Czach is an “experiential” mind-body-spirit researcher since 1991. He is also the publisher of the free and insightful newsletter at http://iWantSelfHelp.com/news.

by Barbara Becker Holstein

Thank you for staying with me. Let us continue to explore our basic needs and find ways to bring a sense of wholeness and enchantment into our lives. We will end with an exercise for you to practice.

Enchantment involves more than merely meeting one’s basic needs, it also involves valuing one’s basic needs. Yet it cannot be activated and maintained without certain negotiating skills. It also involves valuing one’s own Positive Fingerprints and Shadow Prints of the mind. Positive Fingerprints are actual memories were we have intentionally gone by and gleaned positive feelings and/or knowledge. Shadow Prints are more vague, but also contain within them are positive feelings and impressions from the past.

Without these unique memories and impressions that create a pathway to building a positive self-narrative, these positive building blocks of our uniqueness are lost to others and, more sadly, to ourselves.

We need our Positive Fingerprints and Shadow Prints of the mind so that our present and future will be able to reflect our talents, interests and potential. For if I deny the beauty and specialness of my own uniqueness, I am again locked out of the real experience of enchantment.

Personal enchantment is not a group activity. It remains a private exercise … leading to a sense of integrity and wholeness. Only the person herself knows if she is in a state of enchantment or disenchantment. Here is an activity to get you started, geared to emphasizing positive self-regard.

Exercise: A Play Date with Your Own Enchantment!

1. Please write down five positive comments about yourself. For example, “You are a most courteous and helpful person.” “You are always there for me.” “I can always trust you.” You can make these statements in the first person or the third person, whichever is one comfortable for you. For example, you could state, “I’m a courageous person who tries to help others out, even at great cost to myself.” Or you could say, “You are a most courageous person who is willing to help others out, even at great cost to yourself.”

The Enchantment of Modern Life: Attachments, Crossings, and Ethics

After you have made your list of five positive remarks you’d like to hear about yourself, put this piece of paper in your wallet or pocketbook. Read it to yourself at least once a day for one week. You may think of other positive statements you’d like to add, or you may get tired of certain ones and delete them. That’s fine. Just keep the number around five.

2. After a week, answer the following questions:

(a) How did you feel reading these remarks?
(b) Were there remarks you wished you could have made but honestly felt you didn’t deserve? If so, what do you think are some of the things you might need to work on before you can legitimately make a particular statement? Jot down some of those things. Try to be objective. Is your list realistic? Too perfectionistic? If it is perfectionistic, try to make it more realistic.

Remember that incorporating positive self-regard requires practice and repetition just as incorporating negative self-statements required repetition. If you find this exercise uncomfortable at this time, return to it later.

*This article–with minor changes throughout–came from my book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy. The body of the article can be found on pages 184-l85 and the exercise on page 104.

Dr. Holstein speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey. Her inspiring audio files can be found on the web at http://www.Ladybuglive.com. She also gives lectures, seminars, and retreats on the concepts of enchantment and is currently in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein. You may find more about Dr. Holstein and her work at: http://www.enchantedself.com

The Enchantment of Modern Life: Attachments, Crossings, and Ethics

by Barbara Becker Holstein

Thank you for joining me for this two-part article. In this segment we will learn how practicing positive self regard enhances our every day lives.

Time continues to increase my conviction that the old adage “Practice, practice, practice” is as necessary to experiencing a state of enchantment as anything else. Unfortunately, I am convinced, in general, we work much harder than we realize to stay in state of disenchantment rather than to let ourselves enjoy moments of enchantment.

We seem to practice staying in bad mood and seeing our faults and weaknesses rather than our strengths. Do we really feel that worry will help a situation, rather than patiently figuring out appropriate, more positive action? The ultimate solution is often simple, though the road to a permanent state of well-being requires practice and continual awareness and work.

The truth is: most of us get in the way of our good mental health. We may experience a lonely or sad emptiness inside, suffer a sense of disconnection from ourselves, or have repetitive occurrences of bad moods or self-generating negative messages.

We constantly interrupt our potential for achieving positive states by permitting fears or the counting of our woes to take away potentially precious moments. Many of us lack a sense of comfort about being with ourselves in our own mental space, and within our own body. We forget how to recognize and emphasize our blessings.

My clients remind me every day of how we can get in our own way. I remind myself too, as I strive to maintain the wonderful sense of oneness with myself and the world that I call THE ENCHANTED SELF.

This “oneness,” if examined, is a reflection of and a daring to use in new ways suitable for the present moment, our own unique talents, interests, potentials and individual life experiences.

More and more I realize that maintaining enchantment is not a trivial activity. It involves more than positive self-regard, yet it has no psychic power without the foundation of positive self-regard.

Please stay with me. Next time we will continue to explore our basic needs and find ways to bring a sense of wholeness and enchantment into our lives.

*This article–with minor changes throughout–came from my book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy. The body of the article can be found on pages 184-l85 and the exercise on page 104.

Dr. Holstein speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey. Her inspiring audio files can be found on the web at http://www.Ladybuglive.com. She also gives lectures, seminars, and retreats on the concepts of enchantment and is currently in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein. You may find more about Dr. Holstein and her work at: http://www.enchantedself.com

The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book

by Susan Dunn

Someone emailed me recently, “Do you think it’s possible to have
too much emotional intelligence going on? To the point that perhaps logic takes a backseat?”

Good question. The fact is, we need both IQ and EQ. You can’t have “too much” emotional intelligence, but that doesn’t mean at
the expense of logic.

It’s time to use logic, for instance, when figuring out a budget,
or making a timeline for a project. Then there’s a time to use
emotional intelligence - using leadership skills, for instance, to
get those people to make that timeline and project happen.

Emotional intelligence means using all your faculties, including logic and reason, to bring about results that are favorable. It means having the flexibility and creativity to see alternatives.

Say you’re presented with a highly-charged emotional situation, for
instance. You’re furious with your partner and would like to hit him. Your EQ would tell you to manage that emotion, to stop and
think. Your “thinking brain” would then consider the possible
consequences of your act — seriously hurting him, going to jail,
harming the relationship irreparably, feeling shame and guilt
afterwards, and other things that are not in your best interest. At the same time, you could use your empathy to try and see things from their point of view.

There are times when logic does need to take a back seat, for
instance when we need to use our hearts in managing a misbehaving
toddler. Logic and reason aren’t of much use with a two year old.
They also aren’t of much use in figuring out the big questions in
life, like why bad things happen to good people.

Emotional intelligence means managing emotions so you can take action in the best interest of all concerned. This also requires using your thinking brain!

To learn more about emotional intelligence, go to The EQ Coach.

by: David Taylor

The spiritual evolution of the this planet and its inhabitants is currently in a rapid state of change, a new era is being born, and we are no longer content to be believers, as sheep in a “flock”. People are waking up to the knowledge that we can be masters of our own destiny, and are looking to the ancient cultures who have survived to show us the way forward.

How can we break free from our definitions, when we are bound by systems, and rules and regulations, and “normal procedures” . What escape routes are there when all we know is all we have been taught. What is there outside the world we know, and how can we find it and finally be free.

Ancient knowledge and practices from Shamanism, Wicca, Vodou, Druidism and many others are being used and adapted to our modern lives to re-connect us to the worlds of spirit. We are re-discovering that everything in our universe has energy, consciousness, vibration and a power of its own, something the ancients have always known.

By lovingly connecting ourselves to this universal energy, we can know that everything within it has its own spirit, and is connected to everything else. Deep personal transformations can occur as we align ourselves to the loving universal consciousness, giving us back the power to create our own personal spirituality, and to KNOW spirit to the very core of our being.

The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind: Access to a Life of Miracles

“I don’t believe, I know.” Carl Jung.

“You are not my enemies, you are my brothers and sisters. You did not do anything to me or my people. All that happened a long time ago in the lives of our ancestors. And, at that time I might actually have been on the other side. We are all children of the Great Spirit, we all belong to Mother Earth. Our Planet is in great trouble and if we keep carrying old grudges and do not work together, we will all die.” Chief Seattle.

“There is no one who can take our place. Each of us weaves a strand in the web of creation. There is no one who can weave that strand for us. What we have to contribute is both unique and irreplaceable. What we withhold from life is lost to life. The entire world depends upon individual choices.” Duane Elgin.

The Abraxas Foundation of Lightwork and Spiritual Knowledge was created in 2005 by David Taylor to raise Spiritual awareness through the exploration and use of Ancient and Modern Spiritual practices. www.Abraxas3654.co.uk

by Dan Joseph

When I was a child, I used to play a game called Word Ladders. You may have played this game yourself. In the Word Ladders game, you change one word to another by shifting one letter at a time. What makes the game challenging is that each of the middle steps have to be legitimate words themselves.

For example, let’s say that you wanted to change “cat” to “dog.” Here is how the word ladder might unfold:

Cat
Cot
Cog
Dog

At the first step, I shifted the “a” to an “o,” changing “cat” to “cot.” Then I shifted “cot” to “cog” – again, only one letter was changed. Finally, “cog” turned to “dog.” As you can see, each of the middle steps was a legitimate word.

Here is another one for you to try. (One of several possible solutions is at the end of this newsletter):

Hot
—
—
—
Tea

Word Ladders is a fun game, and can be entertainingly tricky – especially when you are dealing with four- and five-letter words. The goal is to complete the ladder in as few steps as possible, though any completion is a success.

Belief Ladders

Let me now share how this game can inspire an approach to spiritual work.

For much of my life, I’ve been engaged in what psychologists call “all-or-nothing thinking.” The idea was that I either did things perfectly, or I didn’t do them at all.

For example, let’s take a practice like forgiveness. The theme of forgiveness is central to A Course in Miracles and other spiritual paths. I knew that it was important. So when I found myself angry and resentful toward someone in my life, I tried to release my hostility. I tried to practice what the Course said.

Unfortunately, most of the time, I wouldn’t be able to take the leap. I’d try to practice forgiveness, but I’d fall right back into anger and resentment. After a few attempts, I’d give up. “I can’t do this,” I’d say. “I tried to practice forgiveness, but I just couldn’t do it.”

The Climbing the Ladder practice helps at points like that. In Climbing the Ladder, you don’t try to take a leap into complete forgiveness, complete peace of mind, or complete anything else. Instead, you take a series of small, slow steps. Just as in the Word Ladders game, in which you change only one letter at a time, Climbing the Ladder involves one small belief-shift at a time.

As an example of this, let’s say that you’re feeling angry toward someone in your life. To begin the Climbing the Ladder practice, you write out your uncensored beliefs about this person. You might begin with:

This guy is a total jerk. He’s completely insensitive, rude, and mean.

In the past, as I mentioned, I’d try to leap from that type of belief into a sense of complete love. But I just couldn’t do it! I’d try, and fail, and get frustrated and give up.

Climbing the Ladder takes a different approach. In this practice, you insist on making only one small shift at a time. You actually refuse to take a leap. Let me show how the first step in this example might unfold:

This guy is a total jerk. He’s completely insensitive, rude, and mean.

(changes to)

This guy is mostly a jerk. He’s usually insensitive, rude, and mean.

Now, that new belief may not seem very “spiritual” or “high.” But it sets the mind in the right direction. It’s a small step forward. When you feel truly stable at that new rung in the ladder, you can continue. Here’s how the whole ladder might unfold:

This guy is a total jerk. He’s completely insensitive, rude, and mean.

This guy is mostly a jerk. He’s usually insensitive, rude, and mean.

This guy does act quite insensitive, rude, and mean. Perhaps he’s feeling insecure, and that’s his way of covering it up.

This guy often acts insensitive and rude. He’s probably feeling disconnected from people. Perhaps he’s feeling lonely and defensive.

This guy’s insensitivity deserves some compassion. Perhaps I can offer him kindness, which he’s not feeling.

I have a good deal of compassion and kindness to offer this person.

I have so much kindness and love within me. I can simply let it pour out to this person and others.

As you can see, the ladder evolved in gradual, progressive steps. There was no great leap. Instead, there was a series of little shifts.

The Power of Positive Thinking

When I engage in this practice, I often spend minutes, hours, or days on each step. I wait until I feel truly stable on a particular step before going forward.

Variations

This technique can be applied to the practice of self-forgiveness, as well. As an example, a few weeks ago I found myself surrounded by a series of negative thoughts about myself. I decided to use the Climbing the Ladder practice to help me out.

I began with the following belief:

I’m a complete loser. Nobody likes me.

That’s what I was thinking, and I couldn’t seem to shake it. Sometimes I am able to simply dismiss that type of belief. But on that day, I couldn’t drop it. So I decided to take things in small steps. I shifted the belief, just slightly, to:

I’m mostly a loser, and most people don’t like me.

I tried to really “sit” with that new belief for a while. The funny thing was, after a minute or so I began to feel quite irritated. “What a dumb belief!” I thought to myself. “It’s not even true!”

At that point, I was ready to take another step. I made the next shift to:

I may feel like a loser sometimes, but that doesn’t mean anything. Some people may not like me, but many people do like me.

I didn’t try to go past that new belief. I stayed on that rung of the ladder for a while. Again, after a minute or so I began to feel irritated with the belief. At that point, I was ready to move up.

I continued like this:

I may do dumb things sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that I’m a loser.

I actually have some fairly nice qualities.

I’m not a bad person, really.

I’m actually lovable, even for all my foibles.

Some of the things that I think make me a “loser” are actually quite adorable, if you look at them the right way.

At that point, I began to feel better. The whole unfolding of the ladder took only a few minutes. Instead of fighting to “leap” into a state of self-forgiveness, I took things in small steps. I waited until my mind stabilized on each new rung, and then moved forward.

To be clear, I think that it’s ideal if you can take a single leap into complete love, forgiveness, and peace. But if you’re like me, and you often find yourself “stuck,” a practice like Climbing the Ladder can help.

As a final point, Climbing the Ladder can be used in a variety of other contexts. Let’s say, for example, that you want to begin a meditation practice in the new year. Instead of trying to take a leap, you can take things in small steps.

You can say, for example, “I’m going to meditate for exactly five seconds a day.” Spend a couple of days meditating for only five seconds – no more. After a day or two of that, you’ll probably say, “Hey, I’d rather meditate for thirty seconds.” Then perhaps a minute. Then a few minutes. You can inch along, always waiting until you’re truly ready to proceed.

Again, this type of practice reduces the tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking, which is a setup for frustration and defeat. I encourage you to experiment with this approach, and see what you find.

PS: Here is one of several solutions to the Hot -> Tea Word Ladder:

Hot
Tot
Toe
Tee
Tea

Dan Joseph is the author of Inner Healing and Inspired by Miracles, two books inspired by A Course in Miracles. Dan invites you to sign up for his free monthly newsletter at http://www.DanJoseph.com.

by: Maya Talisman Frost
We all know there are ways to become a better thinker. We should read more books. We ought to go to lectures and concerts. We need to visit exhibits and appreciate art. We can take classes and expand our horizons through travel.

Blah, blah, blah. Those are the easy answers.

If we really want to become better thinkers, there are three ways to do it that are guaranteed to get you tuned in to your brain and everything going on in it.

Ready? Here are the top three secrets to becoming a better thinker:

#1 Interrupt yourself.

That’s right. The next time you find yourself talking for any period of time, or even thinking about something for more than a few minutes, simply stop. Ask yourself: “Where did this thought start?” “Have I had this thought before?” “Have I already examined this concept at length?”

We tend to reiterate our opinions. We repeat ourselves (like I did right there). Imagine all the time we spend on thoughts that just aren’t taking us anywhere new and interesting. How many times have you had the same conversation?

Make a habit of stopping yourself to check in. Steer your thoughts or your conversation in new directions. Make room for new ideas by recognizing and interrupting repetitive thoughts, and you’ll make huge strides toward becoming a more excellent thinker.

#2 Appreciate lulls.

You know when you’re talking to someone, and there’s a moment of silence before anyone says anything? Our tendency is to jump in, even if what we have to say is pointless. We talk for the sake of filling up that few seconds of silence to keep that pause from becoming uncomfortable.

Next time you find yourself with an unexpected moment of silence, try this: Smile and nod. You’ll look thoughtful, and you won’t fill the air with silly-sounding expressions of agreement. Once you get good at the smile-and-nod routine, you’ll find that you’ll use that moment as a way to be open to new thoughts that wouldn’t normally have room to sprout through your typical “uh-huh, that is so true” or “yeah, I totally agree with that” comments.

Appreciate those moments during the day when you have no choice but to be silent and patient. Waiting for your email to download? Standing in line at the checkout? Riding in an elevator? Fill the lull with observations. Look around. Notice scents. Pay attention to lighting. Listen. Think of these pauses as opportunities to sharpen your senses. Enjoy a Da Vinci moment.

Soul Mind Body Medicine: A Complete Soul Healing System for Optimum Health and Vitality

#3 Define Your Life Philosophy.

Quite frankly, I don’t understand how this one gets so neglected in our culture. We do a whole lot of talking about being authentic, honoring our individuality, and finding our true passion. Well, how can anyone be true to themselves if they haven’t taken the time to figure out who they are? If you don’t know your values and beliefs, you’re never going to get to where you think you ought to be.

A defined life philosophy serves as a road map. It gives you landmarks to recognize, navigation tools to guide you, and a clear destination. Just like the greatest road trips, you may end up going in a completely new direction that’s nowhere on that original map. That’s okay. But knowing your starting point is the most crucial part of any journey.

Fate, birth, death, love, freedom, responsibility, morality, faith, destiny–these are the concepts we need to explore in order to develop and define our own unique life philosophy. Thinking about these ideas is the coolest thing we can do. We feel alive and connected whenever we dig deep into the Real Stuff.

Don’t shy away from delving deeply. It’s the only way to develop as a thinker and as a human.

Take these three secrets–interrupting yourself, appreciating lulls, and defining your life philosophy–and run with them. Pick one as a New Year’s resolution and commit yourself to mastering it.

Vow to become a better thinker in 2006. It may be your most meaningful–and enjoyable–resolution ever!
About The Author Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 70 countries around the world. This article appeared in the Friday Mind Massage, a free weekly ezine serving up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief. To subscribe, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.
maya@massageyourmind.com

by: B. Marlain Morrison

“Almost everybody walks around with a vast burden of imaginary limitations inside his head. While the burden remains, personal success is as difficult to achieve as the conquest of Everest with a sack of rocks tied to your back.” J. H. Brennan

Edward Lewis: “You could be so much more.”

Vivian Ward: “People put you down enough, you start to believe it.”

Edward Lewis: “I think you are a very bright, very special woman.”

Vivian Ward: “The bad stuff is easier to believe…you ever notice that?”

From the movie “Pretty Woman” with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.

“You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires.” Marcia Wieder

~~~~~~~~~

In part 1 of this article, we unveiled the inner critic to be the self-saboteur of our lives. In this section we are going to address tackling our self-defeating inner thoughts with a technique called Affirmations.

Affirmations are a method, albeit slow, to replace the destructive and limiting scripts/dialogues with the beliefs and dialogs you choose. It makes sense that you must “reprogram” the ingrained scripts you have been running for scores of years. But it also follows that, since it took a number of years to get yourmind so doggedly programmed, that it definitely won’t be an overnight job to change it.

But, if a course of affirmations is committed to and faithfully carried out, you will see changes in your thought life for the definite better. Louise L. Hay has even published a book entitled “You Can Heal Yourself” which employs affirmations to assist in healing physical conditions. Affirmations are a safe and highly recommended method to take control of your inner critic and open up to the possibilities of a vibrant life before you.

Affirmations are constructive, positive statements that you repeat to yourself aloud at least once daily, more often is better. Make it part of your morning and evening ritual so you incorporate it in your habits. Each statement should be said three times and absolutely aloud. One time in the first person “I deserve success in my life.” The second time as “You deserve success in your life.” And the third time as “your name deserves success in his/her life.” Repeating each statement three times may take a while depending upon how many you are working with, so give yourself enough time. In addition, all your affirmations should be in the present tense as though they are already fact.

I strongly suggest writing your affirmations on 3X5 cards for convenience. To reinforce a particularly “hard to accept” affirmation, post it around the house, car and office on post-it notes. You can even create a mini poster on the computer with specialty paper to hang in a prominent place as your new “motto” for change.

As one set of affirmations becomes easier for your mind to accept, add about five new ones (that raise the bar a bit) and thus continue to challenge that inner critic and pry open those prison doors. As an additional reinforcement to your affirmation course, you may wish to use some subliminal tapes to assist. Louise L. Hay has some specifically geared towards self esteem and anything by Stephan Halpern are widely accepted as safe and well done.

Create your own affirmations by using the previously mentioned one as a template and replace with those limitations you are facing. To see a pretty extensive list of affirmations go to: http://www.AbundantLivingCoach.com/affirmations.html

I personally use affirmations, have been for several years now, and will continue to for many years to come. I know that it has had a profound impact on my life, opened new vistas I never would have allowed myself before. To me, it is the foundational stone to realizing abundance and vibrancy in your and my life. Before any of us can reallydesign and create the abundant life we want, we must do the preparation work to ensure our success. I know that the life I live now would not have been possible if I hadn’t done this foundational work and created an environment where my dreams will be supported, not torn down by my inner thought life. After all, we are supposed to be our own best friend, not our own worst enemy.

Until next time, I wish you abundance in all areas of your life,

B. Marlain Morrison

About The Author
Ms Morrison has spent nearly twenty years in the fortune 500 corporate settings as well as the Department of Defense industry. She holds a Bachelors in Business Administration with an emphasis in management and a Bachelors of Arts in Sacred Theology. She is a member of the International Association of Coaches and is trained through Coachville.
www.AbundantLivingCoach.com
abundantliving@earthlink.net