The Continuing Experience of Enchantment - Get Ready for Practice, Practice, Practice! – Part One
The Enchantment of Modern Life: Attachments, Crossings, and Ethics
by Barbara Becker Holstein
Thank you for joining me for this two-part article. In this segment we will learn how practicing positive self regard enhances our every day lives.
Time continues to increase my conviction that the old adage “Practice, practice, practice” is as necessary to experiencing a state of enchantment as anything else. Unfortunately, I am convinced, in general, we work much harder than we realize to stay in state of disenchantment rather than to let ourselves enjoy moments of enchantment.
We seem to practice staying in bad mood and seeing our faults and weaknesses rather than our strengths. Do we really feel that worry will help a situation, rather than patiently figuring out appropriate, more positive action? The ultimate solution is often simple, though the road to a permanent state of well-being requires practice and continual awareness and work.
The truth is: most of us get in the way of our good mental health. We may experience a lonely or sad emptiness inside, suffer a sense of disconnection from ourselves, or have repetitive occurrences of bad moods or self-generating negative messages.
We constantly interrupt our potential for achieving positive states by permitting fears or the counting of our woes to take away potentially precious moments. Many of us lack a sense of comfort about being with ourselves in our own mental space, and within our own body. We forget how to recognize and emphasize our blessings.
My clients remind me every day of how we can get in our own way. I remind myself too, as I strive to maintain the wonderful sense of oneness with myself and the world that I call THE ENCHANTED SELF.
This “oneness,” if examined, is a reflection of and a daring to use in new ways suitable for the present moment, our own unique talents, interests, potentials and individual life experiences.
More and more I realize that maintaining enchantment is not a trivial activity. It involves more than positive self-regard, yet it has no psychic power without the foundation of positive self-regard.
Please stay with me. Next time we will continue to explore our basic needs and find ways to bring a sense of wholeness and enchantment into our lives.
*This article–with minor changes throughout–came from my book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy. The body of the article can be found on pages 184-l85 and the exercise on page 104.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self. She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts since 1981. Her book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, was published in 1997 by Harwood Academic Publishers and is now in its second printing. She has just published her second book on the concept of enchantment: Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!
Dr. Holstein speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey. Her inspiring audio files can be found on the web at http://www.Ladybuglive.com. She also gives lectures, seminars, and retreats on the concepts of enchantment and is currently in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein. You may find more about Dr. Holstein and her work at: http://www.enchantedself.com